Dude, That's A Lot Of Hair
by Nicki Monaz
Summary: The genderbent version of Tangled. Genderbent characters include: Rapunzel, Eugenia/Lynn, Father Gothel, Pascal, Maxima, and the Stabbington Sisters.


Once upon a time, a drop of sunlight fell from the heavens and from this small drop of sun, grew a magic, golden flower. It had the ability to heal the sick and injured.

Centuries passed, and a hop, skip, and boat ride away there grew a kingdom ruled by a beloved king and queen. The Queen was about to have a baby, but she got sick. Really, sick. She was running out of time, and that's when people usually start to look for a miracle. Or in this case, a magic, golden flower. This was easier said than done.

You see, there was a very old man that knew about this flower. But, instead of sharing the sun's gift, this man, Father Gothel, hoarded its healing power and used it to keep himself young for hundreds of years. All he had to do was to sing a special song:

"_**Flower, gleam and glow**____**  
Let your power shine**____**  
Make the clock reverse**____**  
Bring back what once was mine**____**  
What once was mine**_**"**

****Gothel had been hiding the flower for a long time. But, as it turns out, he couldn't hide it forever. Soon, the people of the kingdom found it and brought it back to give to the queen. The magic of the golden flower healed her. A healthy baby boy, a prince, was born with beautiful golden hair. They named him Rapunzel. Weird name, right?

To celebrate his birth, the King and Queen launched a flying lantern into the sky. And for that one moment, everything was perfect. Then, that moment ended.

Gothel broke into the castle, stole the child and just like that, he was gone.

The kingdom searched and searched, but they couldn't find the prince. For deep within the forest, in a hidden tower, Gothel raised the child as his own. He taught the boy the flower's song and whenever he needed the magic, he'd have him sing.

"_**Heal what has been hurt**____**  
Change the fates' design**____**  
Save what has been lost**____**  
Bring back what once was mine**____**  
What once was mine"**_**  
**

Gothel had found his new magic flower, but this time he was determined to keep it hidden.

"Why can't I go outside?" the little boy would ask.

"The outside world is a dangerous place filled with horrible, selfish people. You must stay here, where you're safe. Do you understand, sun?" Gothel would answer.

Rapunzel never questioned him further, "Yes, daddy."

But, the walls of the tower couldn't hide everything. Each year, on his birthday, the King and Queen released thousands of lanterns into the sky, in hope that one day, their lost prince would return.

**-Years later-**

Rapunzel, now a young man, moves all the books, pots, and used dishes out of the way. He crosses the room several times and looks in every place he can think of before turning to the open window.

"Gotchya!" he laugha and graspsat what appears to be part of the flowers on the window sill.

His pet chameleon and best friend, Pascal, turns green again as he pulls her up by the tail.

"How about twenty-three out of forty-five?"

She frowns.

"Okay, fine. Now, what?" he asks.

Pascal gestures outside.

"I don't think so. I like in here and so do you. We have work to do, anyways." he puts her on his shoulder as she sticks out her tongue and walks away from the window.

Rapunzel moves his incredibly long, blond tresses out of the way and gets to work. He sings to pass the time, musically telling what he is doing when he gets bored. Pascal is used to it by now.

"_**7 AM, the usual morning lineup**__**  
**__**Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean**__**  
**__**Polish and wax, do laundry and mop and shine up**__**  
**__**Sweep again and by then it's only 7:15"**_

Father likes things nice and tidy. After the chores are done, it's a matter of avoiding complete boredom.__

_**"So, I'll read a book**__**  
**__**Or maybe two or three**__**  
**__**I'll add a few**____**new paintings**__**  
**__**To my gallery"**_

Rapunzel starts painting as he sings. To him, everything everywhere is the perfect canvas. The walls are covered in knights, scenes from the many books he reads, and everything a young man living in a tower his whole life can imagine. He does a lot of daydreaming.

"_**I'll**____**play guitar**____**and sit**__**  
**__**And cook and basically**__**  
**__**Just wonder when will my life begin?**__****_

_**Then, after lunch, it's puzzles and darts**____**and baking**__**  
**__**Paper mache**__**, a bit of swordplay and chess**__**  
**__**Pottery and ventriloquy,**____**candle making**__**  
**__**Then, I'll stretch, maybe sketch, take a climb, sew a vest**__****_

_**And I'll reread the books**__**  
**__**If I have time to spare**__**  
**__**I'll paint the walls some more**__**  
**__**I'm sure there's room somewhere**__****_

_**And then I'll brush and brush**__**  
**__**And brush and brush my hair**__**  
**__**Stuck in the same place I've always been"**_

All that hair gets very tiring to manage. 70 feet of it would take anyone else's entire day to deal with. But, not Rapunzel; he runs out of things to do in a few hours._  
_

"I need more than this, Pascal." he sighs, staring out the same window like every day, "I just want adventure. Something exciting."

_****__**"And I'll keep wonderin' and wonderin'**__**  
**__**And wonderin' and wonderin'**__**  
**__**When will my life begin?"**_

Boy, his life is boring. He'll be eighteen tomorrow. Why can't his life be like the people in his books, rescuing damsels, slaying beasts, and being free to go where they please?

___**"And tomorrow night, the lights will appear**__**  
**__**Just like they do on my birthday each year**__**  
**__**What is it like out there where they glow?**__**  
**__**Now that I'm older, Father might just let me go"**__**  
**_

**-Meanwhile in the kingdom-**

The famous Lynn Rider, greatest thief and soon to be richest woman around,-or at least that what she calls herself-stands on the roof of the castle and looks out at the far ends of the kingdom.

"Wow, I could get used to a view like this." Lynn states.

One of her current partners in crime hisses, "Rider, come on!"

"Wait…Yep, I'm used to it." she addresses the twins behind her, "Girls, I want a castle."

"Pull this off and you can buy your own castle. Now, go on." Scarlett replies, shoving her through the open sunlight.

The Stabbington sisters lower her down above the lost prince's crown with a rope. The guard on duty sneezes heavily.

"Hay fever?" Lynn smirks at his back.

"Yeah. Huh? Hey, wait!" the guard finally realizes there's an intruder.

Before he can stop her, Lynn grabs the crown and she and the sisters are already escaping.

Lynn runs along the roof and clutches her satchel tightly, unable to keep her big mouth shut, "Can't you see me in a castle of my own? 'Cause I certainly can. All the things we've seen and it's only eight in the morning. Ladies, this is a very big day!"

**-At the tower-**

"This is a very big day, Pascal. I'm finally gonna do it. I'm gonna ask him." Rapunzel paces back and forth, unable to stay still.

He hears his father's voice, "Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

He finds it funny that his hair is longer than anyone in the world, even funnier that it's capable of holding a person, a grown man at that. Not that he's complaining. It makes hanging from the rafters to paint a lot easier. But, does he really have to go through this routine every single day? The man is heavier than he looks.

He looks at Pascal, "It's time. Okay, okay. Don't let him see you."

She hides against a curtain and turns red.

"I'm not getting any younger down here!" Father Gothel calls.

"Coming!" Rapunzel runs to the window, hooks his hair on the hook on top of the window, and drops it to the ground. Then, he starts pulling him up. When his father is finally in the room, he stands breathing heavily, "Hi. Welcome home, Father."

"Hello, sun. Have a good day today?" Gothel stands in front of the mirror and examines himself.

He sure looks at his reflection a lot.

"Oh, yes. It was fine. Same as every day." Rapunzel hesitantly begins, "So, Father, as you know, tomorrow is a very big day…"

"That's nice." Gothel touches his face and hands, not paying attention.

"Right. As I was saying, tomorrow…"

"Rapunzel, I'm feeling a bit run-down. Would you sing for me?"

"Oh! Of course, Father." he pushes him into a chair, runs to get the brush and stool, sits down, and starts singing quickly, blurring lines together, "Flower, gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse"

"Wait!"

"Bring back what once was mine"

"Wait!" Gothel brushes quickly.

"Heal what has been hurt, change the fates' design, save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine"

The magic barely has time to work on Gothel before the last line, "Rapunzel!"

He tries to control his excitement, "So, Father, earlier I was saying that tomorrow's a pretty big day and you didn't really respond, so, I'll just tell you, it's my birthday! !"

"Nope, can't be. I distinctly remember: your birthday was last year." his father jokes.

"Yeah, that's what's funny about birthdays; they're kind of an annual thing! Uh, Father, I'm turning eighteen, and I wanted to ask, uh, what I really want for this birthday…" Rapunzel starts to get nervous about asking, "Actually what I really want for my birth-want for my birthday-"

"Okay, Rapunzel, please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling-blah-blah-blah-blah. It's very annoying. I'm just teasing, son. Agh. You know I love you." Gothel hugs him.

Pascal urges him to say it, "I want to go on an adventure and to see the floating lights."

"Uh-huh. What?" he realizes what he said.

"Well, I was hoping you'd let me go see the floating lights."

"Oh, you mean the stars. You can already see those." Gothel turns away.

"No, Father. These aren't stars. They appear every year on my birthday-ONLY on my birthday. And I can't help but feel like they're meant for me. I need to see them, Father, and not just from my window. In person. And I want to do something exciting for once. The people in my books always go on lots of adventures. I'm only asking for one. Please, Father." Rapunzel begs.

"You want to go outside? Why, Rapunzel!" Father Gothel starts singing in a deep, velvety voice.

This family sure sings a lot.

"_**Look at you, as fragile as a flower**_

_**Still a little sapling, just a sprout**_

_**You know why we stay up in this tower"**_

"I know, but…" Rapunzel begins.

"_**That's right! To keep you safe and sound, boy**_

_**Guess I always knew this day was coming**_

_**Knew that soon you'd want to leave the nest**_

_**Soon, but not yet!"**_

"But!"

He puts his finger over his lips.

"_**Shh! Trust me, Sun**_

_**Father knows best**_

_**Father knows best**_

_**Listen to your father**_

_**It's a cruel world out there!**_

_**Father knows best**_

_**One way or another**_

_**Something will go wrong, I swear!**_

_**Ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quicksand**_

_**Cannibals and snakes, the plague"**_

"No!" his father has told him how horrifying those things are.

"_**Yes!**_

_**Also large beasts, girls with pointy teeth, and**_

_**Stop, no more, you'll just upset me!"**_

Gothel gets very dramatic. He shoves him and acts out the terrifying things he describes.

"_**Father's right here, Father will protect you"**_

He pats his hand comfortingly as Rapunzel looks scared.

"_**Son, here's what I suggest!**_

_**Skip the drama, stay with Papa**_

_**Father knows best**_

_**Go ahead, get trampled by a rhino**__**  
**__**Go ahead, get mugged and left for dead**__**  
**__**Me, I'm just your father, what do I know?**__**  
**__**I only bathed and changed and raised you**__****_

_**Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it**__**  
**__**Let me die alone here, be my guest"**_

He pretends to be in anguish.

_****__**"When it's too late, you'll see, just wait**__**  
**__**Father knows best**_

_**Father knows best**_

_**Take it from your papa**_

_**On your own, you won't survive**_

_**Sloppy, underdressed**_

_**Immature, clumsy**_

_**Please, they'll eat you up alive!**_

_**Gullible, naïve, positively grubby**_

_**Ditzy and a bit, well, hmm, vague"**_

Rapunzel listens to him point out all his "flaws" and loses his previous confidence about the conversation.

"_**Plus, I believe, gettin' kinda chubby**_

_**I'm just saying, 'cause I love you"**_

He hugs Rapunzel's face.

"_**Father understands, Father's here to help you**_

_**All I have is one request!"**_

"Rapunzel?" he looks at him sternly.

"Yes?" the boy asks.

"Don't ever ask to leave this tower, again."

"Yes, Father." he answers quietly.

"_**Don't forget it**_

_**You'll regret it**_

_**Father knows best"**_

Gothel smiles, patting him on the head like a child. Resignedly, Rapunzel walks away. Even though he's taller than him, his father always has a way of making him feel much smaller. Oh, well. Father is probably right. He knows a lot more about the world than he does. Rapunzel sits and thinks for a long time.

**-Back to Lynn Rider and the Stabbington Sisters-**

Lynn and the sisters stop for a moment at the edge of the forest.

Lynn notices wanted posters with their faces nailed to a tree and grabs hers, "This is bad. This is really, really bad." She holds it up next to her face, "They just can't get my nose right."

"So? It's just a picture, Rider." the first sister, Scarlett tries to catch her breath.

"Easy for you to say. You look amazing." she examines their poster.

Just then, they see the royal guard riding towards them, weapons drawn and fire in their eyes.

"Time to go!" Scarlett and her sister with an eyepatch, Lola, run.

Lynn takes off after them into the forest, stuffing the poster in her satchel.

"Let's get 'em, Maxima!" the head guard urges on his powerful mare, "Faster, girl!"

He's not letting them get away.

**-Back to a sullen Rapunzel, wanting ****something**** for his birthday-**

"Father?" Rapunzel approaches him later that day.

"Yes, son?" Gothel asks, looking up from his book.

"I know what I want for my birthday…Could you bring me a sword-a real one? I think I'm too old for the wooden one."

"A sword? But, you'd cut yourself or your hair. You don't want to hurt yourself and worry me, do you?" Gothel tries to discourage him about his request.

"I'd be careful." Rapunzel looks at his feet, "I just thought it was a better idea than the…stars."

"Oh, alright. A sword it is." he smiles, "I'll find you one and be back in three days time."

"Thank you, Father."

Father Gothel gathers his things and prepares to leave.

"I'll be back soon, my sun." he hugs him.

"I'll be here." Rapunzel answers as his father disappears down the tower.

Once he's gone, Rapunzel sighs and goes to find something else to do.


End file.
